On Nose Rings and Body Image
I recently discovered that a common thing for women to do once they turn 40 is to get their nose pierced.
Count me in that group! I recently got my nose pieced and I’m officially in my 40s. Guilty!
But for me it is not about marking a new time in my life and instead, is something completely different.
I’ve wanted my nose pierced for years but it took me that long to take the plunge. I kept coming up with excuses on why I couldn’t make it to the shop.
Finally at the beginning of January I just went and did it. No more excuses. After a chiro appointment, I went got my nose pierced. It’s such a common thing that most places around town (Fort Collins, at the time I had this done) accept walk-ins.
In all honesty, I was totally unprepared for the piercing! Nose piercings are so common now that I assumed they would have invented some sort of tool, like the guns they use for ears, to make the piercing quick and easy.
Nope, it’s done old school with a guide and a big needle. It hurt like hell and my eyes watered up immediately. It didn’t take long but I think the piercer was a little annoyed with me as she handed me a tissue to dab my eyes. I can’t be the first person who got watery eyes!
I got a flower stud with purple petals.
But anyhoo, the whole reason I got my nose pierced is because I hate my nose.
Yes, it’s true. I’m super self-conscious about my nose. It’s large and has a big bump in the middle. I also have a large forehead and so my profile is a little wonky. At least to me. This is how I see myself.
We all have body insecurities and skewed images of ourselves. (If you do not then wow, how did you get there?!)
A lot of mine happens to be with my face and most of that is centered around my nose.
The funny thing is that I never thought twice about my nose until I was a freshman in high school and some horrible people started making fun of me and my nose.
And of course I took it to heart and was like, “Oh shit, maybe there is something wrong with my nose.”
I’ve been trying to hide my nose ever since.
(Ridiculous side note, one of the guys that made fun of me, a few years later when we were seniors, started asking me out. A lot. I always turned him down. Because, duh, he made fun of how I looked just a few years prior. Why would I date him?! He never understood that.)
This year I’ve decided that I’m done hiding. I’ve been hiding my nose for a long time. I’ve been hiding myself ever since we moved to Fort Collins.
Weight gain can do a number on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Especially when that weight gain is out of your control and it doesn’t want to go away. Fort Collins is full of very fit people and when you’re chunky (I refuse to say “not fit” because I workout and lift.) you can feel pretty left out and invisible.
Plus I didn’t like who I became. My personality is still the same though I’d wager a bet and say that I’m a bit more acerbic. But I’m still trying to hide myself.
Y’all I am done hiding. Part of that includes my nose piercing and learning to love my nose. It’s my way of saying that this is what I want and yeah my nose might be on the bigger side but so what. Piercings aren’t just reserved for those with tiny button noses. Screw that! I wanted my nose pierced and made it happen.
I should haven’t have to feel like this is something I can’t have because of the way that I look. I’m done with that bullshit.
It’s time to fully embrace ME and everything that I am right now.
(This post is part of my Vulnerable series. You can check that out here.)